You're Too Sensitive!
If you have heard ‘You’re too sensitive’ then you have likely heard ‘That shouldn’t bother you’, ‘Get over it’, ‘Grow a thick skin’ and/or ‘Are you still upset about that!’ You may often feel misunderstood and that you have an inherent flaw. You may find that you become offended by comments, jokes or gestures of others easily therefore concluding “I’m not tough enough”, I’m weak and need to have thick skin.’ Being sensitive is being able to feel what you see, hear and sense. It’s an ability not a disability.
Identify the individual(s) who are calling you too sensitive. Are they especially kind, sensitive, patient, listening or the understanding type? Most likely the answer is NO, not really, and not at all. Then that’s your clue! It may not be that you are too sensitive but rather they are insensitive or not sensitive enough. They may not be a narcissist but could have some emotional-bully type characteristics. Being called sensitive is used most often as a jab at character or fortitude. However, it most often means that you are attuned to something. You have discernment, insight, and intuition that allows you to feel words, tones, and behaviors of others. Your feelings have validity.
Sometimes being emotionally aware is our reaction to threat or danger. It could be past offenses or maltreatment that have not been resolved. When they are triggered in present day then our body recalls it and sends messages to say be wary and listen up because this feels familiar and it hurts. Identify if there’s any history of abuse or neglect that your body is simply sensing now and warning you about triggered by another’s actions, tone or words that just doesn’t feel right.
Either way feeling what you feel doesn’t make you flawed or wrong. Your feelings should be affirmed. Don’t allow others to create fault in how you feel.
What Can Help:
Identify whose speaking, observe those sending ‘you’re too sensitive’ messages. Are they really saying they are insensitive to your experience or don’t feel the way you are feeling?
Don’t make yourself wrong or flawed for feeling. Separate yourself from other’s perception of how should feel or think.
Validate. Change the language from “I’m too sensitive to, ‘I’m keen, receptive, discerning, aware, conscious, and perceptive.
Get feedback from someone you trust. Ask how they view or would handle the situation you’re dealing with to help validate or to add clarity.